When I was a child I wanted to learn secret martial arts. I wanted to know those mysterious fighting moves that would enable somebody smaller to smash somebody taller. I wanted to know that hapkido or jujitsu or whatever that would enable me to really trash the bad guys.
I began my study of Ed Parker Kenpo Karate, and the mysteries were at my fingertips. In those whirling movements were hidden fist martial arts, invisible and flaming dragon concepts, and down and dirty, take ’em apart fighting secrets. I was thrilled by the endless forms and techniques…but I couldn’t quite figure out the secrets.
From Chinese Kenpo I switched over to classical Karate. There was a secret Karate had, I just knew it in my bones, and I performed the karate kata until my body trembled. In the end, I could grab hold the dojo mat with my feet, and throw that classical power with the best of them, but there was no real secret to it all.
After Karate I made the transition to Kung Fu, with all those systems and variation there had to be a secret Kung Fu that would make me just really unbeatable! I threw myself into Shaolin Kung Fu and Kung Fu fighting and…I felt like a whirling dervish taking performance enhancers! But, in the end, I didn’t find that secret that would make me more than a superhuman being!
Okay, not just Shaolin, but maybe a specialized type of secret Shaolin! So I went looking for Bruce Lee Wing Chun…I wanted to be a Wing Chun grandmaster! I began beating that wooden dummy like he was yesterday’s eggs, doing the wooden dummy training until he needed bandages…but…I was just working hard, there was no secret gimmick that I could use, there was no…sigh.
So, not some sort of secret Wing Chun, but maybe aderivation on secret Wudan…that had to be the method! I explored Wudan Tai Chi Chuan, searched for secret Bagwa zhang, and spiraled through the world of mystical martial arts like tracers on a battlefield. And, great stuff, I could sink my mysterious and intrinsic energy right to the earth’s center, and spin like a planet full of windmills, but…where was that secret martial arts I needed so bad?
I did everything. Meditations on the secret of intrinsic energy that fueled the mysterious tan tiens and enlightened the glowing chakras of the greater macrocosmic orbit that led to realization in samadhi when I ascended from my skullular brainpan in the higher realms of paradaisical existence. But, and I say this with a bit of self reproach…I can’t find the secret!
I’m not young now, and in great shape, gonna last a long time, and I know there is a secret out there. And I can do martial arts fighting with the best of the young turks, slay herds of secret ninjas if I have to, so nobody can stop me from getting to that secret martial art…if I could only find it. Please…will somebody explain me…what is the secret?